kanyelujah:fuckthepeopleathome:police-that-moustache:motdog:
Apparently, this is a brothel “menu” from 1912.
#ordering from this menu must have been a blast #yes hello I would like one ten-minute fuck with a side order of feathers tickling my nuts #with juice please
Sitting on prick, shoving in stones and all
One female suckoff, stones in mouth
so that was how they said BALLS DEEP 100 years ago.
just what the hell were they doing with dicks back then and why weren’t these arts passed down through the generations?
“If you are not a self-starter, stay at home and jack yourself off.”
“must stay out of poop hole”
Free back scuttling while woman rubs your nuts with a feather, must stay out of poop hole
Ass hole fucking for men over 45
Bob cocks and flat pricks, extra
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
oh my GOD
“Pinkey’s special”
Ohhhh, so there’s a name for that.
WITH ONE FOOT ON THE FLOOR.
I want this to be real.
The Era of Elegance my poophole.
I don’t know who Pinkey is but that mother fucker knows how to party.
This is my new favorite thing ever.
This made my whole day better
Was he married?
#it just really gets to me how tony will go out of his way to hide his kindness #he offers the most extravagant things like it’s nbd #”i’ll fly you to portland pfft whatevs” #he jokes that phil’s first name is ”agent” and yet #he knows about the cellist #and wants phil to have a love life #and offers to fly him wherever so he can have it #and then pretends he’s not sure when steve asks him #because god forbid anyone finds out that tony stark gives a shit
((I think my soul just died.))
hear someone help me rip my heart out of my chest
I legit just cried :’( SON OF COUL…WHY!!?!? :’(
in school
illiterate kid: here let me read
me: holy fuck
me: oh my god no
me: literally absolutely not please for the love of god no
me: anything but this
me: i'm going to kill myself
me: goodbye world
me: have a nice life
me: except for you
me: learn to read
me: and then die
me: bye
he had me as his phone background for three months. 8 months before we started dating. <3
some say creepy. I’m incredibly flattered and that’s so cute!!
Why stop at steak? SPARKLE ALL FOOD!Salt Glitter
Mix 1/4 cup of salt with a 1/2 teaspoon of food coloring in a small bowl until the salt is uniformly colored. Spread the mixture out in an even layer on a foil-lined baking sheet. Bake in the oven for ten minutes. Allow your homemade glitter to cool before using it or storing it. And that’s it!:)
wait wait wait.
does that mean you can EAT it.
Who has two thumbs and intends to eat a rainbow steak in her future?
LANA. KIM. NOW MY FOOD WILL BE FROM THE FAIRIES.
holy crap
ALL MY SALT WILL NOW BE GLITTER
been gone all weekend
Drove up to be with my boy ‘cause I won’t get to see him until August >< I’m touring all summer and he’s got a full-time insurance job so we’re pretty much never free at the same time.
Anyway, it was wonderful <3 He got me a teddy bear so that I have something to cuddle while we’re apart. I named him Porter which is my boyfriend’s middle name. He also gave me a pair of his shorts which I will know wear ALL THE TIME AT THE GYM as they make my ass look AWESOME.
He’s a personal trainer so we had some serious talk about improving my fitness and such. I now have a new diet/day plan to cut back on eating like a full-time dancer ‘cause I’m not right now and it’s showing in my hips, lol.
Basically, the ab routine he taught me every day, then running (which I do anyway). For foods, less unnecessary bread—sandwiches and stuff is fine but less rolls, breadsticks, etc—, smaller portions, more veggies and bigger breakfast and smaller dinners.
Hopefully this will get me back to where I was when I spent all summer in South Pacific (the musical not the place) and taking Hip Hop every week.
